F**K Cricket
After last weekend I question my sanity playing this game
Cricket, like most sports, is played mostly in the head. And I let it get to me last weekend. I’m not good at waiting. I think I’m good at waiting, but I’m not. Over the last two years, I’ve opened the batting more often than not, occasionally going in at number three. So generally speaking I am out there early facing the new red ball. I don’t find it easy always, but I’d rather be doing that than waiting. As the game moves on and I’m there waiting I over complicate it all in my head. (Over) thinking is perhaps one of my greatest strengths but also a huge weakness.
On Sunday I batted at number four, but I didn’t get out to the middle until well past the thirtieth over. The game had changed, it wasn’t a ‘build an innings’ type of match anymore. Runs were needed, and runs are what I did not get. One lousy ball was all I faced, I played it poorly and was heading back to the sidelines to watch again. I was defeated in my head before I walked out there. After many years of playing, I still fell into the trap of not playing my way, with patience.
We lost heavily; I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. It wasn’t a good day out. You question your sanity when that happens. Why am I playing this game? Cricket is a crazy game and confidence can evaporate so very quickly. I was ready to take a week or two off if I’m honest, but two days later I’m almost looking forward to playing this coming weekend again. Despite my failure, I do want to have another go. Cricket gets under your skin that way. My expectations on myself remain high; they always are. This should be a good thing but for me, it can be a burden. It is time to go back to basics and start to build confidence again, one ball at a time. This weekend we visit two grounds, one I’ve never made runs at and the other the home of my 93 not out last season. So there must be some runs ahead, surely?!
Despite my lack of runs, last weekend three really positive things happened:
- My partner came to the club social on Saturday night. It was an evening of cheese and wine, and he survived about four hours! It went well, he knew more people than we both thought might be there, and he met a few others, some of whom he has heard me talk about for years! It was a good evening, relaxed and enjoyable. Coming down may not be so hard in the future for him, even if he never actually becomes a fan of the game!
- One of my friends, a junior player, has made the step up to the second team and he has already started to cement his spot. He is a promising bowler and cricketer; he’ll do brilliantly. You see he is one of these awkward left arm bowlers, bloody pains to face! He deserves this break though after an outstanding season for the third team last year. The future of the club is positive, and I’m proud of his achievements so far, and he should be too.
- Another friend and promising batsman continues to make runs as the season starts. He has had a great start, showing that he can fulfil his potential. He has improved over the last year but has shown another leap forward in maturity this year. I’m sure I can learn from his approach to batting. But the thing that pleased me most? He now has a rainbow grip proudly displayed on his bat. And it is great seeing it out there. I’m really proud of him and his support. Allies are important in all walks of life. And if he has a rainbow grip, it is likely to get more exposure than the one ball I face occasionally!!
So maybe there is plenty to be positive about. I need to get over my disappointments and get on with it. Back to training, hard work and improving my game.
