Good luck Sean - it isn't easy, I have been there myself, although not in Ruby but in Cricket. I used to think LGBTQ+ sports clubs were not for me but I have come full circle on that (see my writing for more on that!) so I wondered if an LGBTQ+ rugby club would be a good place to start a re-integration into the sport?

Sometimes I think the pressure and fear comes from a desire to prove ourselves in a sport (as gay men, we are not mean to be good at sport....so we are told!!) but proving you fit in is hard when you feel like "if only your teamates knew the truth they would view you differently"? I suffered from this lack of confidence for many years. I now lead an LGBTQ+ cricket club and play for a 'normal' club as well so have seen things from both sides. Either way, you will find the right time I'm sure.

I wish though clubs would be more open and explicit about welcoming LGBTQ+ (and other/all) members on their websites. social media and actions on the pitch. This would make any coming out less stressful too. Good luck!