The living years
Dad is 72 today. Well, he would have turned 72 if he were still alive. 24 years ago, we lost him following a long illness. He was taken after 15 long years of fighting against his brain tumour.
It was 1996. The internet was in its infancy. The dial-up modem was the iconic noise of the time. It was the noise you heard just before the world opened up to you. Remember the touch-tone phone? We had one, and we were lucky to have call waiting — two lines! So when I was on the phone to my best mate for hours at night, other people could ring — although I’d promptly just take a message and return to my lengthy call. I’m sure my dad must have been a little annoyed at times.
There were no mobile phones, no smart TV (although we had a basic cable package), and one of our TVs required you to change channels manually. Even I find that hard to conceptualise now.
We had no sense that Y2K or 9/11 was coming. One was planned for and never materialised, and the other nobody foresaw and had enormous consequences for the way we now live. Changes occurred at a personal level too. I, and my sister, have both come out since dad was with us. And my brother and I both live in the UK having grown up in Adelaide until just after the dawn of the new Millenium. In another twist of fate, we now live on the same street in England — neither of us saw that coming.
We have seen Australia and the UK go through various political and cultural changes. Australia had their first female prime minister, and the UK have had their second. LGBT+ rights have improved in both countries with same-sex marriage now legalised along with a raft of other rights.
The internet has become part of our everyday lives. It is hard to imagine what we might do if it stopped working? Computers, the internet, data, social media and Google are permanent parts of our lives. Social media now plays such a significant role in public discourse along with enabling some of the worst traits in people.
We don’t have mobile phones any more. We have small handheld computers which, if we so desire, we can make a phone call with. As for CD’s, what were they?
Now, of course, we have covid-19 and all the disruption, anxiety and challenges that this presents to everyone personally, for society and economically. This, perhaps, is the most significant change of all — because we don’t know where it might end or what other changes may come in the future.
I was talking to my mum in Adelaide via WhatsApp video call on the weekend. We both wondered what dad would make of this. What would he make of the changes that have occurred since he was taken too early? And what of covid-19 now? He would have been in a high-risk group both because of his age and because of his illness and suppressed immune system. We both think he would have taken it in his stride and been as positive as he always tried to be. He would have, liked everybody else, adapted to the technologies and other changes in our lives.
But most importantly, he would have seen the good in every situation. He always saw the good in people, giving them the benefit of the doubt, even in the most tumultuos of times. That was his constant. We could all do with more of that positivity and trying to see the best in people in this difficult time.
Happy birthday Dad x
